Your ability to use your own body language to spotlight your chosen words is paramount in all human interactions... so here’ s my Top Ten Tips on how to make the most of it!
1. Eye Contact
Eye contact is one of the most important aspects of dealing with others, especially people we ' ve just met. Maintaining good eye contact shows respect and significance in what they have to say. We nurse to keep eye contact around 60 - 70 % of the time, ( however, there are wide cultural differences, so be careful in other countries ). By doing this you won ' t make the other people feel self conscious, like they ' ve got a bit of vegetable stuck between their teeth or a dew drop undecided from the nose. Instead, it will give them a enjoyment of comfort and actual warmness in your company. Any more eye contact than this and you can be too intense, any less and you give off a signal that you are unredeemed curiosity in them or their conversation.
2. Posture
Posture is the next thing to master. Get your posture right and you ' ll automatically start perception better, as it makes you feel good partly instanter. Next time you apprehension you ' re awareness a bit down, take a look at how you’ re standing or sitting. Chances are you ' ll be slouched over with your shoulders stale down and inpouring. This collapses the chest and inhibits good breathing, which in turn can help make you feel nervous or wearisome.
3. Head
Head position is a great one to play around with. When you want to feel confident and self assured keep your head level both horizontally and vertically. You can also use this straight head position when you want to be authoritative and want what you ' re saying to be taken seriously. Conversely, when you want to be attached and in the listening, sensitive mode, tilt your head just a little to one side or other. You can shift the tilt from lonely to right at different points in the conversation.
4. Arms
Arms give away the clues as to how unfastened and alert we are to everyone we felicitous and interact with, so keep your arms out to the side of your body or behind your back. This shows you are not scared to take on whatever comes your way and you fit things " full frontal ". In general terms the more outgoing you are as a person, the more you nurse to use your arms with big movements. The quieter you are the less you act your arms away from your body. So, try to strike a natural balance and keep your arm movements midway. When you want to come across in the best possible light, beat the arms is a no - no in front of others. Obviously if someone says something that gets your goat, then by all means shine your combat by expedition them!
5. Legs
Legs are the lag point away from the brain, and therefore they ' re the hardest bits of our bodies to consciously clout. They nurse alteration around a lot more than average when we are nervous, tense or being mistaken. So best to keep them as still as possible in most situations, especially at interviews or work meetings. Be careful too in the way you petulant your legs. Do you petulant at the knees, ankles or bring your leg up to rest on the knee of the other? This is more a matter of comfort than gadget besides.
Just be aware that the last position mentioned is known as the " Figure Four " and is usually perceived as the most defensive leg petulant, especially if it happens as someone tells you something that might be of a slightly dubious nature, or moments after ( as always, look for a sequence ).
6. Body Angle
Angle of the body in relation to others gives an indication of our attitudes and feelings towards them. We angle toward people we find attractive, attached and entertaining and angle ourselves away from those we don ' t - it ' s that simple! Angles introduce fondness in or away from people, as we oftentimes just tilt from the pelvis and lean sideward to someone to gain a bag of conversation. For case history, we are not in complete determination of our attribute at the cinema whereas of the seating nor at a influence when we sensibility shoulder to shoulder and are considerable in like sardines. In these situations we nurse to lean over towards the other person.
7. Compensation Gestures
Cooperation gestures are so great it ' s hard to give a square guide... but here goes. Palms slightly up and visible is experimental as ajar and benevolent. Palm down gestures are repeatedly seen as dominant and conceivably ballsy, especially when there is no movement or bending between the wrist and the forearm. This palm up, palm down is very important when it comes to handshaking and, stage convenient, we rouse you always suggestion a handshake decent and vertical, which should tote equality.
8. Spatial Relations
Situation from others is crucial if you want to give off the right signals. Mood too muggy and you ' ll be blatant as " jocund " or " in your face ". Temperament or sit too abysmal away and you ' ll be " keeping your distance " or " stand offish ". Neither is what we want, so dig if in a company seat how close all the other people are to each other. Also concern if you deed closer to someone and they back away - you ' re probably just a little bit too much in their personal space, their comfort sphere. " You ' ve overstepped the mark " and should pull back a little.
9. Ears
Positively your ears play a vital role in communication with others, even though in general terms most people can ' t move them much, if at all. However, you ' ve got two ears and only one jaws, so try to use them in that distribution. If you listen twice as much as you talk you come across as a good communicator who knows how to strike up a balanced a conversation without being me, me, me or the wallflower.
10. Aperture
Mouth movements can give away all sorts of clues. We billford our lips and sometimes twist them to the side when we ' re thinking. Increased instance we might use this movement is to tenure back an ablaze comment we don ' t hope to impart. Nevertheless, it will probably be spotted by other people and although they may not comment, they will get a sensuality you were not too pleased. There are also different types of smiles and each gives off a corresponding receptivity to its getting which we ' ll cover next time.
Just changing your body language very slightly can have an amazing effect on the people around you. For more easy - to - use, practical tips on how to use and master body language, take a look at my new book Body Language: It’ s What You Don’ t Say That Matters.
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